A reader sent a link to the following photo that proves, to the shock of a nation, that Britney Spears is continuing to dress like a flaming -- yet, like, totally, spiritual and stuff -- assrag:
She looks like a cast member of Police Academy 8: Asshats On Parade, in which the gang reunites to recruit drunk prostitutes into the force, train them, and then turn them back out into society as clean, productive police officers who arrest people for sartorial crimes. [Prediction: Britney's character learns she's worth something more than a Big Grab bag of Cheetos, which is what her pimp traded her to the cops for, and Steve Guttenberg earns Oscar buzz for a surprisingly sensitive return to the franchise as the man who teaches Britney that she is safe now, and can turn her back on horizontal stripes.]
The Kaballah people need to revise their ancient teachings very quickly to include a heretofore lost, yet sacred, scissors ceremony in which the red string is clipped from the wrists of people who only wear it because Madonna does. That, or it needs to add a chapter entitled, "It Is A Sin To Think That Wearing Double The Headgear Will Protect You When You Are Smote From On High."
Incidentally, if anyone's in need of a good celestial smiting, it's Britney. If taking a whizzing asteroid or some other object of divine scorn to the head doesn't knock some sense into her and make her take out the white trash from the dumpster that her vagina's become… then, well, nothing will.
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