Dyed to Fug

Allow Ms. Thora Birch to demonstrate one of my biggest beauty pet-peeves: Dyed-to-match, or at least lightened, eyebrows.

When people go blond and bleach out their brows -- especially if they are fair-skinned -- it washes them out and detracts from their eyes, generally really ratcheting back the cute (see: Barrymore, Drew, Never Been Kissed... perhaps this is why, Drew).

Look at Thora. It looks like she shaved her brows off, and the effect is that her forehead goes on for ten miles. [And before anyone accuses me of being hateful, because some people have alopecia: I agree, alopecia sufferes are the real heroes, but Thora Birch does not have alopecia.]

All it would take is some Nice-n-Easy to darken those right up so that her eye area has some definition. Better, if she goes to a full-on salon, she could get a weave, because her hair is kind of thin and damaged and appears to be retreating from her very aggressive forehead, which is annexing patches of her skull at an alarming rate.

However, more problematically: Thora Birch needs to eat some carbs. People shouldn't make carbohydrates the enemy. Carbs love you. They want to insulate you and prevent you from becoming a shrunken bag of bones. Sometimes, they want to help you take a nap on your keyboard in the middle of the workday. Let them.