Katrina, You're Fugged
Katrina, all the gold chains in the world won't make the shoes and the bag work with that rainbow of aggression that is your outfit. Is that a leather mouth under your breasts?
Donald Trump may love a good woman, and he may love a woman who can sell, but I think he'd agree with me in asking you to repeat to yourself three times an hour, "Do not dress like I am for sale. Do not dress like I am for sale." Hookers aren't fashion icons, Ms. Campins. No one picks up a whore because she was wearing a really edgy dress.
Go change.
Ben Affleck Bloat Watch 2004: Victory In Our Time
Don't go getting all excited, but it appears that Sydney Bristow may have finally vanquished her most formidable opponent: Ben Affleck's rampant, spreading bloat and its most cherished companion, puffiness.
Voila:
Should I lay off the smack, or does it appear that he's getting close to his fighting weight again? He hardly barely looks water-logged at all.
Well played, Ms Garner. Well played.
If You Want My Body, And You Think I'm Fugly...
Rod Stewart mistakenly believes that the Royal National Institute for the Blind Gala is going to be attended only by the blind, and, thus, wears his bathrobe as an overcoat:
Britney Fugerline
This photo was sent by an eagle-eyed reader:
Why is Britney shrieking?
a) She's looking in a mirror
b) Something, somewhere, is itching and burning
c) She found the greatest onesie for her future spawn that has "I'm Jailbait (But This Is An Old Jumper)" emblazoned on it.
d) She just caught sight of the wedding ring on her finger and has awoken to what she and her life have jointly become
e) She is realizing that she passed a dumpster on the way into the store without even stopping to dive in and see if anybody threw out any snacks, or perfectly good unbroken condoms that can be re-rolled for reuse.
f) Wouldn't you be, if you were Britney?
Dyed to Fug
Allow Ms. Thora Birch to demonstrate one of my biggest beauty pet-peeves: Dyed-to-match, or at least lightened, eyebrows.
When people go blond and bleach out their brows -- especially if they are fair-skinned -- it washes them out and detracts from their eyes, generally really ratcheting back the cute (see: Barrymore, Drew, Never Been Kissed... perhaps this is why, Drew).
Look at Thora. It looks like she shaved her brows off, and the effect is that her forehead goes on for ten miles. [And before anyone accuses me of being hateful, because some people have alopecia: I agree, alopecia sufferes are the real heroes, but Thora Birch does not have alopecia.]
All it would take is some Nice-n-Easy to darken those right up so that her eye area has some definition. Better, if she goes to a full-on salon, she could get a weave, because her hair is kind of thin and damaged and appears to be retreating from her very aggressive forehead, which is annexing patches of her skull at an alarming rate.
However, more problematically: Thora Birch needs to eat some carbs. People shouldn't make carbohydrates the enemy. Carbs love you. They want to insulate you and prevent you from becoming a shrunken bag of bones. Sometimes, they want to help you take a nap on your keyboard in the middle of the workday. Let them.Fug of Arcadia
The best thing I can say about this photo is that I might be in love with the pink coat on the woman in the background.
Amber Tamblyn is not a stick, and I love her for it, but she's also not a dramatically pear-shaped spinster schoolmarm -- the effect presented by this choice of dress. You could lie her down on a table and a nearby funeral director would go, "Ah, just the tablecloth I need for this wake today."
Also, Amber needs to get her colors done. She defaults to a shade of lipstick that's between Fire-Engine Red and Hooker Scarlet, and it completely dominates the rest of her lovely features. It's all I can see when I look at her (well, that, and what appear to be shoes made of fabric that matches her depressing skirt).
But seriously, the mouth looks like she stole it from Ronald McDonald, and that's sick and wrong. Nobody loves a clown, Amber. Nobody. Not even God.
